Thursday, April 12, 2007

Beer Goggles Vs. Date Rape: The After School Special You College Kids Can't Afford To Miss...

Many moons ago I was a penniless college going frat boy, I went to class but like every human being ever I was waiting for the weekend like anyone else...not that I would remember it. Being part of a frat its almost a duty and a service to throw a party at your place. Really think about its part recruitment tool/alcohol enforcement. Ah bet you didn't know about that did you? See what a lot of colleges hate to admit is that if there is going to be under age drinking, they'd rather have it done at a frat house then in the dorm rooms. See any frat can be wild, stupid and a hotbed for police reports, but they also serve a vital function to make sure that a lot of party going college kids keep having vital functions. See we had to keep an eye out for the drunks who could end up in the hospital so that meant cutting people off as well as acting as an ad hoc triage unit if someone was really fucked up. A lot of times we were able to handle it and help them through a night of extremely heavy drinking making sure they puked up everything and kept them from swallowing their tongue. Other times it was making sure they got to a hospital if it was really bad, without the college having to deal with it. Mainly this was for those who had pre gamed before they came to the party. The others we made sure they drank enough but never to much, for those who came up to the frat house to drink we knew when to cut someone off and send them packing. Every brother at a party is there to have a good time and they also serve a function. If you didn't have an actual task it was always understood you were a peacekeeper/bouncer when the shit hit the fan which is easy when you have 40 other guys popping out the wood work to grab two idiots about to throw down over who loves Blink 182 more. My function was the head bartender of the house, you could be a doctor or a lawyer but in that house you weren't shit compared me or the other bartenders on party night. We controled the flow of booze, kept the drunks happy, kept an eye on the dangerous drunken assholes, and like any good bartender we talked with the people so we knew what was up with who ever that night. One of the most important things was to make sure the ladies were having a good time and felt safe. Part of it was being a gentlemen and a good host, the other was making sure the pussy stayed around so the guys and potential rushes would come back. No one wants to have a date rape go down on their watch, or see a woman assaulted because it was coming back on you if it went down.

Date Rape is defined as forcible sexual intercourse by a male acquaintance of a woman, during a voluntary social engagement in which the woman did not intend to submit to the sexual advances and resisted the acts by verbal refusals, denials or pleas to stop, and/or physical resistance. The fact that the parties knew each other or that the woman willingly accompanied the man are not legal defenses to a charge of rape, although one Pennsylvania decision ruled that there had to be some actual physical resistance.

Its a good definition problem is a lot of times there is no apparent refusal, denial, plea or resistance. Classic example is after a party some guy walks a girl home, of course they have both been drinking, she invites him into the room with their inhibitions lowered they end up having sex. Next morning she looks over at the guy and realizes it was a mistake to have had sex with him, in fact she would have never fucked this chump in a million years. This guy is guilty of rape. Why? Because under normal circumstances she would have never had sex with him, she had no intent in a sober mind frame to fuck this loser and because she was under the influence of booze she had no reasonable control over her actions or choices. If she files a complaint this guy will most likely get kicked out of college and go to jail. Now at no point did she actually say no, or resist, or deny this guy entry into her, but thats only half the game, she actually has to intend to have sex with you.

Now under the law if this guy was drunk at the time he is fully responsible for his actions, at the same time this woman no longer has a reasonable expectation to be fully responsible for making good desicions because her judgement is impaired by alcohol. Therefore its impossible for her to properly consent to sexual intercourse or to know what her real intent is. Hence we call it date rape or rape.

Now lets flip the script for a moment, what if they guy was bombed out of his mind and the woman was in a better position, either she consumed no alcohol or she was just holding her liquor better. Now lets say this guy is the stud and she is a off the factory line dud, and that there is no way in Hell this guy would ever, ever intend to have sex with her but he does anyways. Is it rape? Nope its called....

See with a guy is different, he should have known better, he made a bad call, its a shamefull story to tease him with. Hey guess what if you are upholding that definition its still rape. But in the real world it doesn't work that way which creates a legal problem when it comes to properly upholding the law and protecting those under the law. Let's say that guy wakes up and looks over at some loser he never ever wanted to fuck, but because he got drunk and his guard was down she was able to take advantage. Should he feel dirty? Ashamed? Stupid? If he is a rape victim absolutely not. He is a victim just as much if it were the woman in his shoes. Or are both just victims of their own stupidity for drinking to much and getting beer goggles and what comes with being beer goggled?

Beer Goggles: Sometimes one just gets past the goalie

My opinion is that you are always responsible for what you do at all times. Being drunk or high does not excuse you from making a bad choice. This is especially true when you intend to drink to the point of being drunk enough you can no longer allow yourself to think clearly and effectively. I have no sympathy for someone who get blasted and does something they regret, just as much as I have no sympathy for someone who tries to physically force themselves on another person. You don't have the right to ruin someone's life just because you regret doing something the next day. Congratulations they just slipped one past the goalie because you decided to take yourself out of the goal that evening by drinking beyond reason. I'm not talking about the people who get drugged into having sex, or pass out drunk while some dirtbag has their way with them. I'm talking about someone who decided yes this fat pile of crap is just the person I want sharing my bed and enjoying my genitals, but after that glow of alcohol wears off they want to run down to the creek and beat themselves with a rock. For those dumb bastards are having no sympathy from me.

But under the law intent is still what rules here so my best advice is that unless you are some couple that is already having sex, if alcohol is invovled its not worth it. You never know what the person is going to do the next morning, some people just turn around and make shit up to cover their own ass rather than admit to making a bad call. Others will have legit feelings that they were violated. Either way it will screw up your life wheither you are a guy or girl, of course in my fairytale world I'd like to think their was equal enforcement under the law.

-Grey Fox

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

When Boyfriend And Girlfriend Become One: Or The Curse Of The Frankenbitch Dickenstien Monster

The Frankenbitch Dickenstien Monster:
(I know it looks like the offspring of two rednecks who cousin fucked each other at Chernobyl)
It's the uncomfortable combination of your best friend and signifigant other and all the bad shit they both bring to the table......

Confused? Well you'd be suprised the kind of crap you can find on the internet to literally illustrate what your talking about. Get a good look at that ugly, awkward and hopefully sterile creature, yeah you don't like the sight of it either. Good. Now I provided a caption and an extremely long title to give you an idea of where I'm going today in terms of subject matter. No its not transvestites or breaded circus women.....

No what this picture metaphysically represents is that one couple everyone seems to know, you know the boyfriend and girlfriend that would be tied to the hip if they hadn't already combined into one massive Voltron style headache. They won't do anything with out each other, and like Voltron if they are seperated from each other they become even more lame because they have been used to teaming up so much they have no idea what it means to spend time apart. If you have no idea what Voltron is just Google it bitch it was Saturday morning cartoons!!!

Yes This Motherfuckin' Voltron!

So why should I knock on a couple that can't get enough of each other? Well thats not the problem.... Its the fact they won't spend time apart, the fact they won't be their own person, the fact that they ruin all the stuff you used to do by including their other half, and that other half Yoko Ohno's guys or girls night out and splits up the to speak. Look when you want to spend time with your guy or girl you spend time with them, when its time to hang out with your friends you hang with them and sometimes that means going solo and leaving your other half behind. Its time to be honest your friends will never truely like whoever the fuck you date, because that just means its someone who is going to screw up your time to hang out, lead them by the dick or pussy and even use it to fuck up your friendships. When it stops being your buddy and more like your buddy with him or her it just sucks the life out of! No one is stopping to say honey do your own thing I need to spend the night out with the guys or girls so they and I still know we are able to hang out. No instead it becomes a major U.N. relief operation to Darfur everytime it comes time to hang out because now Frankenbitch Dickenstien have to decide what everyone should do so they both can enjoy it......which means you and everyone else are not. Couples never seem to stop doing couple things together and thats a problem. People by their very nature are both dependent and independent and when one nature gets thrown into overdrive it can make problems think extreme loners and co-dependent freaks. Maybe people are so afraid of not having a guy or girl to call their own they never stop to set down boundaries so their relationships don't spiral into a fucking nightmare and one of them goes insane when it ends because they made the relationship their whole reason for living. Thats why we get that icky feeling when couples are never seen anywhere without each other and never do things by themselves and that makes things suck. This monster's victims are not hearty Romanian villagers with overbites but just having a good time.

-Grey Fox