Predictions For The New Year.....

They say that the New Year is meant to be a symbol of hope. That you can start fresh, unburdened by last years mistakes. You are free to start over again. While that is true on a personal level, geopolitically and economically speaking the New Year does not forgive mistakes from the past. People also think its fun to predict what next year will hold and to see if they are right. So without further delay:

GREY FOX'S NEW YEAR'S PREDICTIONS

I hope most of them are not going to come true

• George W. Bush will announce that he is sending more troops to Iraq.
• The Democrats will not be able to field a viable presidential candidate.
• Lindsay Lohan will fall off the AA bandwagon into a bottomless pit of scotch.
• Rudy Giuliani will get the Republicans nod for the presidential nomination.
• You will probably have at least one regrettable hook-up.
• The military bases in Germany being closed are merely going to be moved to Iraq so instead of having troops on deployment, they will merely be on a tour. Bush can claim he brought the troops on deployment home and call it a political victory, because the American public is too stupid to realize nothing changed. He may or may not land on an aircraft carrier to announce the mission has been accomplished a second time.
• Any girl that turned 17 this year will no longer be jail bait by the end of the next coming year.
• Any economic momentum gained by all the holiday shopping will be squandered when the president and or congress do something stupid.
• All freshman girls in college will gain at least 15 pounds.
• All freshman girls that went to Randolph Macon College will gain at least 30 pounds and 3 kinds of STDs.
• American Idol will pick another winner who will be talented, hardworking and likable. To bad the American public won't take the same time they spend on making their choice for American Idol on picking the right candidate for office.
• Taco Bell stock will take a dive for some reason.
• You will still eat at Taco Bell.
• You will get diarrhea at least once from eating at Taco Bell.
• Religious groups like the Westboro Baptists will continue preach that everyone is a gay sinner who God hates and will be punished. They will still claim that God is a loving, forgiving and compassionate being. Once again the Westboro Baptists will miss the whole loving, forgiving, and compassionate thing God is all about.
• Stupid Southern and Midwestern hicks will wish that George W. Bush still had another 4 years in office. Snobby elitist liberals will wish those hicks would finally just cousin fuck each other till their offspring were sterile.
• Major wars will erupt in Africa due to poverty, famine and corrupt governments. Watch for Somalia to make it back into the news again.
• George Clooney will continue to call for an end to violence in Darfur through government intervention, but balk when he finds out that would actually require a military response.
• George W. Bush will not give a shit about Darfur because the people there are black, which keeps suit with his response to Louisiana.
• Asian Bird Flu will finally get the response needed when it kills beloved celebrity Big Bird.
• Someone will tell a child that Santa is not real and that thanks to Hanukkah Jewish kids are guaranteed 7 presents at least, that child will cry.
• Your parents, even if over 50 are guaranteed to do it at least one time this year.
• Either congress will vote the draft back in, or president George W. Bush will use an executive order to bring back the draft.
• You will pay more in taxes especially if you are in the middle class.
• Social Security will start to collapse.
• Iraq, unless violently suppressed will continue be complete chaos and casualties will mount.
• North Korea will launch a missile at Japan, Japan will launch Godzilla at North Korea if it hasn't been destroyed by a North Korean missile.
• You will cop a feel on a hot chick while very drunk.
• Tucker Max may or may not be a liar but he will write another funny best seller and I will read it.
• The international sector of the stock market will do well because the American market will tank.
• More industrial labor jobs will be sent to foreign countries. More people will not have a job.
• The president, the senate, and congress will futher lose touch with the needs of the American public. But they will still want to touch Jessica Alba.
• AIDs will continue to go out of control in Africa because Christian charities will deny supplies, medcines and funds because the idea of teaching safe sex is a greater sin than idly sitting by and allowing millions to die apparently.
• The Islamic world will continue to push the West around and get us give up more of our freedoms to appease them.
• Osama Bin Laden will continue to receive support from Pakistan and Saudi Arabia.
• The United States will still be dependent upon Middle East oil.
• Energy companies will squash at least one promising alternative energy source that would free the United States from Middle East oil.
• Tensions between China and India will become strained.
• Politically Correctness will become even more absurd.
• The demands from women on men will go beyond absurd.
• Maddox will be totally bummed that he didn't think up this list first.
• You will tell 50 friends about this blog damn you!
• You will meet at least two women who have their lives run by Oparh, MTV and The View.
• For some reason you will not date those two women.
• The murder rate in Baltimore will continue to skyrocket, but you'll never hear about it because Martin O'Malley and the Baltimore City Police will not report all the cases they actually run into.
• Martin O'Malley will suck as governor of Maryland, and his ugly mistress will continue to suck him off. Things in Maryland will suck as well.
• Firefighters and Police officers will continue to be underfunded and overworked, you will at least donate 10 bucks to a credible charity that helps them out.
• You will thank a U.S. serviceman or woman for what they do, because you damn well would not want to have to do it yourself unless you are in the service. Sending a care package to a serviceman or woman abroad is a good way of saying thanks.
• Jennifer Love Hewitt's nose will continue to get bigger as she continues to dress even more hideously than before.
• Despite the benefits of stem cell research, the religious right will continue to have knee jerk reactions against it.
• The seperation between church and state in the United States will continue you dissolve.
• Comedian Bill Maher will still have his T.V. show on HBO despite not being funny.
• Those two women who let Oparh, MTV and The View run their lives will commit suicide when they find out their lives are meaningless, fake and cost them decent attractive men. Four more women however will rise up and take their place. Oparh, MTV and The View will not care or notice.
• The public school system in American and especially in Baltimore will continue to decline as money is sucked away from the schools for stupid pork barrel projects and unfunded mandates.
• Shelia Dixon will continue to steal money from the people of Baltimore until she is no longer mayor.
• There will be at least one major fire in the Western United States.
• There will be at least two school shootings, it may or may not be the Amish taking their revenge.
• Tom Cruise will continue to lie awake at night fighting for sleep as he is tormented by the fact he continues to deny his homosexuality and that Mission Impossible 3 sucked.
• Mission Impossible 4 will not star Tom Cruise. He will tell Katie Holmes to cut her hair short and fuck her from behind to fell better about himself.
• No one will ask why Madonna and Angelina Jolie didn't just adopt some disadvantaged child from their own country.
• Men will continue to face a gender bias against them in Divorce and Custody proceedings.
• The Divorce rate will continue you to climb.
• You will think about the last two predictions when you decide to propose this year.
• The startegy in Iraq will not work and Georege W. Bush will be to pigheaded to admit it.
• Grey Fox will write another list of predictions next year.

-Grey Fox